A Bad Dream

Here I recall my series of bad dreams this morning.

From the point that I remember, it started with events that lead up to an argument with my wife. We were arguing at a square table, sitting with two of our friends. While arguing, my wife held a scalpel blade – without the blade holder – and threatened to kill herself. Then the argument lead to my wife slitting her throat with the scalpel blade. We were still arguing and I asked her, "What are you doing?" And she said, "I'm going to kill myself!" However, she showed no signs if getting weaker despite the fact that blood was gushing out of her throat and surprisingly she could still speak very clearly. I noticed that she only cut her left carotid artery and throat, her right carotid artery was intact. So I took my scalpel blade and stabbed her right carotid artery. She managed to grab a hold of my arm before I could begin slitting her throat from the right side. I pulled my arm away, leaving the blade stuck at her right carotid artery. — I don't know why I did that, but probably I couldn't stand watching her die for a long time that I wanted to end it quickly. — My action somehow infuriated her and she reacted by lunging into me and trying to slit my throat. I quickly grabbed both her arms and resisted for a few seconds. She went back to her seat, blood gushing out her throat, and the scene sort of went into a black fade out. I don't have to tell how our two friends beside us reacted. I believe you know how you would react if you were in their place.

Then there were blurred events and I end up following a guy into his room. I don't know who he was and I don't remember what we talked about. He then went to the toilet and at that moment a woman came to me. I didn't realize there was a woman in the room. We both sit on the bed and talked. The conversation was probably about my wife because I felt sad and empty because a large part of me was gone and there was nothing I could do to retrieve it back. I needed something to fill the hole in my heart. It made my realize how much she meant to me and how much I love her. It's so devastating to know that there was no way I could say that to her now that she's dead. That was when my conversation partner lay on the bed and pulled me to lie beside her. Then we hugged and I felt very sad because it made me remember my wife. I rolled to lie on top of her, still hugging her tightly. I cried. That was when the guy went out of the toilet. It didn't bother me because I was so deeply immersed in my sadness. The guy went straight to the door and went outside. Before the door went shut again, I lifted my head to get a glimpse, and I saw three of my wife's friends. Their faces were filled with shock and terror went down my spine. I stormed out the room to explain the situation to them but before I could say anything, they fired me with words

"So, there were 14 times before this?"

"The rumors about 14 times were true!"

I don't know what they were talking about but judging from the situation I think they were saying that I had a history of 14 occasions of extramarital affairs, which is to say – wow – a lot! I quickly rebutted and denied the rumors saying I never had any extramarital affairs and what they just saw was just me lying on top a woman. We didn't even have sex. It was a bad defense, I know. But I was honest, and that was the only thing I could say. My wife is dead. I needed someone to fill the hole. They looked surprised and said my wife is not dead. She recovered from her wounds. Unbelievable. I shouted her name, calling for her, and indeed she came. I was shocked as soon as I saw her. At the same time I felt my heart collapse because I thought my hope was gone. Now I have the chance to tell my wife how much I love her. I was overwhelmed with emotion that I only managed to squeak her name. I hugged her and told her how much I love her. Then the scene faded out to blackness, with a feeling that I managed to save my marriage after I almost accidentally destroyed it.

I had a brief moment of happiness.

My dream suddenly went to a scene where my wife slipped and fell down a spiral staircase. As she fell to the point where the stair had made a 90-degree rotation, the railing broke and she fell out the staircase and straight down to the floor. I saw it from a balcony opposite the staircase and I was devastated. Then my friend beside me told me that she was seizing. I took a hard look and noticed that her body was shaking. It started from her upper body. Her arms were frantically flexing and extending and she was muttering something – suggesting she had not lost her consciousness – about the pain she was experiencing. As she was seizing, her body slides forward till her feet touched a woman who was sitting at a table. Then her legs began seizing. She kicked the woman's back many times. It seemed as though she was jogging on the woman's back and then started running. And then the fit stopped, and my wife lay there, consciously silent. I went down to take her to the hospital. She could walk with my support, so we walked to the hospital since it was within walking distance. All the while I was constantly thinking of how my wife would live her life after this. She had a seizure after the fall, surely that means a significant brain damage. I ponder if I have the capacity to care for my disabled wife. How we would not be able to enjoy our lives as a couple anymore. The thoughts filled my head. As we entered the emergency department – it was a blue zone; not that it was labeled, but the walls were painted blue – I saw a doctor chasing out students and saying "Students please don't come inside here." It seemed the doctors were busy with something in the green zone. The doctor went back through the windowed door and turned right into the green zone. There was nothing to see beyond the door except for the light green-colored corridor wall. Just as the door closed, I saw through the door window the doctor fell on his back as if his feet were pulled forward. Soon after there were screams and exclamations, and that was when a big yellow wormlike thing bust through that door and sucked the upper half of one of the students. I could only imagine the student's fear of imminent death by the way his legs moved violently in a hopeless effort to break free. After the yellow thing swallowed the unfortunate student, it turned to face the side I was standing and opened its mouth. From its mouth, three to four smaller yellow things – presumably the offsprings – protruded out in place of a tongue. All of them opened their mouths and taunted us. I took my wife through the door behind us and went across the room and stopped before another door. It was actually one big room split into two by a glass separator. I could see through the glass separator and through the door window, the yellow monster was fighting with a few people. A person hit all the smaller yellow "tongues" with a long metal rod but it was to no avail. I was shuffling left and right at the door because I was unsure which room the monster would enter and I didn't want to end up in the same room as the monster. Luckily, the monster didn't enter either room and just stayed there to fight whoever it was fighting with. Then I took my wife out of the hospital, and the scene faded out.

Oddly enough, our encounter with the yellow wormlike monster somehow cured every single injuries my wife sustained from the fall. Suddenly I was taking my wife home on her scooter and I asked her if she would go home with her scooter so that I could ride my scooter, which was parked nearby, and go home. I didn't want to leave my scooter parked at a roadside. She said no. So I took a different path which was unfamiliar. My wife felt uncomfortable and asked me where was I taking her. I told her we were going home, but she refused to take this path. To avoid further anxiety, I stopped in front of a small grocery store and made a U-turn. Then I gazed upon the golden cloudy sky to speculate on the reason for my wife's anxiety. At that very moment, the clouds opened a small circular opening and then a brown wooden thing slowly descended from the clouds with one oar on each side. It seemed the wooden thing was kind of repelling the clouds. It descended only halfway through the clouds and went up again and the clouds closed behind it. I stopped the scooter and said to my wife, "Look! Did you see that?" My wife didn't reply. We just stared at the sky in silence, and then there it was again. This time it was a smaller opening a bit farther from the previous opening, and the same wooden thing descended halfway through the clouds. Then it went up and the clouds closed. If you couldn't imagine what I saw, it was like seeing a wooden boat from underwater, and the boat wasn't moving forward in a straight motion. Instead it was bouncing smoothly to move forward. It was beautiful to see a boat flying in the sky, but yes it was very weird. And that weird feeling gave rise to another feeling inside me. It was fear. I felt fear. And it was fear that consumed me and gave me a jolt that woke me up.

Soon after I woke up, I told my wife I love her very much and I wear my wedding ring for most of today. The end.

Wednesday, Nov 12th 2014